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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26691730">Rays of Light</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipsinlove3/pseuds/shipsinlove3'>shipsinlove3</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outlander (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Sister-Sister Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:35:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,883</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26691730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipsinlove3/pseuds/shipsinlove3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Jamie is bit by a snake in 5x09, he finds himself between life and death. He's surprised to see the daughter he and Claire had buried over 20 years before. Why is she there? Will she impact Jamie's choice in living or dying? 5x09 rewrite AU.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Claire Beauchamp &amp; Faith Fraser, Faith Fraser &amp; Brianna Randall Fraser MacKenzie, Faith Fraser/Jamie Fraser</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Rays of Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to “Outlander”. As you already know, if you've read my other two stories I've posted, I love writing about the Fraser Family. I had this idea during the season 5x09 episode where Jamie almost died from being bit by a snake. He mentioned to Claire that he was between life and death. I thought it would have been very interesting if Jamie had seen Faith there. 5x09 rewrite AU. This will be a tearjerker, but I hope you still enjoy it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>     Jamie feels his body driftin away from his home, from Claire. He kent he cannae be saved, but he’s still willin his body to stay. As his last breath leaves his body, he cannae help but think about leavin his family behind. He finally was blessed with his family reunited and whole. Now, he’s leavin them and cannae stop it. A chill goes runnin down his spine and he kent this is the moment he’s passin away. “Da?” He doesane kent the voice but it causes his eyes to open. As he begins focusin, he sees a lass hoverin above him. Her voice is verra similar to Bree’s, but she has his eyes, not Claire’s. He kent who this lass is, right down to his soul. “Faith?” The smile crossin her bonny face is Claire’s and it warms his heart. “Yes, it’s me, da. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Ma still needs you and so does Bree, Roger, Jemi, Ian, Fergus, and Marsali…” She trails off when she notices him starin at her in awe. He cannae help it, this is <em>their Faith.</em> The babe that died and was buried. He starts reachin up to touch her cheek, where tears have started fallin, and wipes them away. “I’m sorry,<em> M’annsachd. </em>I dinna get the chance to lay eyes on ye before ye were buried. Yer ma was the only one to see ye.” Jamie feels the tears startin to fill his eyes, as the daughter that’s been lost to him for over twenty years, starts cryin herself. She reminds him so much of Claire, it makes his heart start achin.</p><p> </p><p>    Before he kent what’s happenin, his bairn wraps him up in her arms. She lays her head on his chest and they continue cryin together. For the life she never got to live, and fer bein the missin member of their family, she never got to be a part of. He cannae be sure how long they sit together, clingin to each other, but when she finally starts pullin back, he kent their time together is runnin low. “Da, I’m here to guide you. You can come with me into the light. See grandma, grandpa, Murtagh, and the rest of the people you’ve lost. Or, you can go back to ma and the rest of our family. The choice is yours, da. Just know, that ma and Bree still need you.” Jamie feels a sickinin feeling start at the pit of his stomach. He cannae leave her, not now after just gettin her back. He kent what Claire would say about this, she’d want him to stay with their bairn. He takes a studderin breath, tryin to hold back his swirlin emotions. Jamie looks over at his Faith, his bonny lass. “I cannae leave ye, Faith. Yer ma and Bree will be fine without me. They have Fergus, Ian, and Roger to protect them. My place is here with ye.” He watches Faith’s tears fallin down her cheeks. “Da, I’m happy in the light. Grandma and Grandpa are taking care of me. Murtagh is there too, watching over me. I’m okay, da. I wish I could be there on Frasers Ridge with all of you, but I can’t.” She pauses and once again she’s so much like Claire, it’s intensifyin the ache in his heart.</p><p> </p><p>    He watches Faith take a few steps towards him. “Please tell ma that I hear her every time she takes a moment to talk to me, every time she thinks about me. Please, da, tell her I’m okay. I’m safe where I am.” Her sad eyes meet his and his heart starts breakin. He wishes he could take her with him, bring her back where she belongs with him and Claire. But, he kent he cannae. He also kent that she’s as stubborn as her ma and dinna intend to let him go into the light with her. “Da, can you also do something else for me?” Jamie gives her a nod. “Anythin, <em>M’annsachd</em>.” He watches his daughter start snifflin from her tears. “Can you tell Bree about me? She doesn’t know anything and she’s afraid to ask you or mama. She doesn’t want to hurt you, but she wants to know. And I… want her to know that she has an older sister, and even though I’m not there with her, I’ll always be watching out for her.” His tears start blurrin his vision again, as his heart is breakin at her words. “Can you promise me that, da?” Jamie starts noddin his head. “Aye.” He gets to his knees and looks up at her. “I solemnly pledge to you that I will carry yer message back to yer ma and tell Bree about ye. Ye have my word.” He sees Faith’s eyes shinin and her bonny smile returnin despite the tears that are still fallin down her cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>    Jamie gets to his feet and wraps his bairn in his arms one last time. Holdin on to her tightly, never wantin to let go again. When Faith starts pullin back, he sees her sweet smile, and her eyes glistenin. “I love you, da. Please tell ma and Bree I love them too.” With that, he watches his daughter turn back to the light, somewhere he cannae follow, and the gapin hole in his heart where he’s been keepin her, starts openin a little wider. Tears begin pourinin out of his eyes again, as a familiar voice starts callin out to him. “Please, Jamie, wake up. Come back to me.” His heart starts achin even more at the sound of his wife’s voice. As he stands there, he watches a door begin appearin in the direction of Claire’s voice. “Jamie.” He turns one more time to see Faith starin back at him, noddin fer him to keep goin back. Lettin him know that she’s safe and a strong lass like her ma. Jamie gives his daughter a final nod before turnin to walk through the door.</p><p> </p><p>    Searin pain evades him, as his eyes start openin. The first thing he sees is his bonny wife, sittin there with him. There’s tears streamin down her porcelain cheeks and his heart starts clenchin. “Claire.” She begins bendin down and coverin his chest with kisses. He loves the feelin and places his hands in her greyin dark locks. After a few beats, she starts findin her way to his lips, and the two stay like that for a while. It’s not until their layin in bed, wrapped up in each other, that Jamie begins rememberin the promise he had made to their daughter. He dosnae kent how to begin. “I saw Faith.” He hears Claire’s breath catchin at his words and he hates that he’s causin her pain, but he made a vow to their daughter, and he’d never dream of breakin it. “Jamie…I don’t understand.” He starts sighin to himself. “I saw our wee bairn between life and death. She wanted to ensure I got back to ye and Bree. She’s just as stubborn as her ma.” He hears Claire begin sobbin next to him and he starts wrappin her up in his arms and pullin her close to his side. “What did she look like?” Jamie drops a kiss on the top of her head. “She was the spittin image of ye, Sassenach. The only thing different was her red hair and her eyes were mine. Everythin else was just like ye, Claire.” Jamie continues feelin her tears hittin his bare chest. “Claire, there’s somethin I vowed to do, to tell ye and Bree.” He can feel Claire noddin her head against his chest to continue. “Faith wanted me to tell ye that she’s always hearin ye when ye talk to her and with ye when yer thinkin about her. She wanted ye to kent that she was safe and dinna fash over it.” Claire starts sobbin again and Jamie begins sheddin a few of his own tears. Their lost babe was still with them in their souls and watchin out fer them.</p><p> </p><p>     Jamie kent that they haven’t talked about Faith in a wee bit, but that dosnae mean that they have forgottin her. She was their first ray of light shinin, their second had been their wee lad Fergus, and their third had been Bree. And his other wee lad William had been his own ray of light, guidin him through those lonely days without Claire by his side. “What did she want to tell Bree?” Jamie drops another kiss on the top of his wife’s head. “She wanted me to tell Bree that she was still watchin over her, even if she wasnae around. She asked if we could tell Bree about her. Christ…” Jamie starts cryin again, the tears soakin the top of Claire’s bonny head. She starts wrappin her arms around him a wee bit tighter, tryin to comfort him. “We’ll tell her together, Jamie.” With that, they both continue grievin over their light, their <em>M’annsachd</em>, <em>their Faith</em>.</p><p> </p><p>    The next mornin, he opens his eyes to see his wee grandson, Jemi. He’s sittin next to him on his ma’s lap, Bree tellin the lad to be quiet. “Granda.” Jamie cannae help but smile, as Jemi starts climbin up on the bed, givin him a hug. Jamie squeezes him back, thankful that he’s still livin and breathin. “I’m glad you’re okay, da. You really had me and mama worried.” His eyes begin shiftin to his daughter. She’s givin him a sweet smile and his heart warms. It’s the same smile that her sister had givin him the day before. The warmth in his heart goes turnin to an ache again. He’s verra happy to be back with his family, but he’s missin Faith. “Are you in pain, da? Should I go get mama?” He quickly starts shakin his head. “Yer ma has patients to tend to, dinna fash, I’m just a wee bit tired.” Bree gives him a nod and he can see the wheels turnin in her brain. She starts givin him a sad smile. “Da, if you hadn’t survived, I’m not sure how me or mama would have kept going. Especially mama, I’ve never seen her so afraid, so desperate to save anyone.” Jamie reaches out, grabbin his daughter’s hand in his own, and kissin it. “Dinna fash, I’m here, I’m safe with my family.” She gives him a small smile before relasin his hand from hers and grabbin Jemi from his lap. Her familiar warm eyes returnin, as she stands and starts adjustin Jemi onto her hip. “Alright Jemi, let’s let granda rest. We’ll be back later to check on you. Let me know if you need anything.” He gives her a nod and Jemi beings wavin his little hand sayin goodbye. He cannae help but smile again at his wee grandson.</p><p> </p><p>    After they leave the room, Jamie finds himself dozin off. He cannae seem to get enough sleep since the day before. He isnae sure how long he’s sleepin, when he feels a familiar voice reachin his ears. “Jamie.” His eyes start openin immediately and meet Claire’s. She’s sittin on the edge of the bed next to him and lookin at him as if he were a wee child. “How are you feeling?” He sits up in the bed, gettin into an upright position. “I’m feelin better. Still verra tired, but I’m not dyin.” He watches Claire’s face turnin to one of pain. He can see the tears startin to well up in her bonny eyes. She starts grabbin his hand. “I’m sorry, Jamie. I shouldn’t be crying, but the thought of almost losing you again. It’s inconceivable.” He begins givin her a nod, kent exactly what she’s sayin. He cannae fathom losin her again either. “I kent, Sassenach. It’s the same way with me losin ye.” She gives him a nod before bendin to plant a kiss on his lips. When she starts pullin back, he can see the tears fallin down her cheeks. He begins brushin them away lovingly. “Bree came by between patients and told me that she had talked to you earlier. She said that Jemi was quite happy to see you.” Jamie’s smirk begins widenin. “Aye, the lad ended up climbin onto my lap and givin me a hug.” Claire starts laughin and its music to his ears. She continues on for a few more moments, until she begins settlin down. Her face grows a wee bit more serious. “Did you want to talk to Bree now about Faith?” He gives her a nod. He kent he needs to keep his promise to their oldest daughter. “I’ll go and get her.” He watches Claire start walkin out the door and begins tryin to think about how he’ll go about startin the conversation. Claire had told him that she discussed miscarryin Faith with her in Paris, but dinna have the heart to say anythin else.</p><p> </p><p>     He hears Claire and Bree shufflin into the room and looks over at them, givin them both a smile. Claire starts takin a seat on the bed and Bree resumes sittin in the chair next to her. He’s feelin a wee bit nervous to start but is relieved when Claire begins reachin to grab his hand in hers. He starts givin her a smile before turnin to their daughter. “When I was dyin, I found myself between life and death.” He takes a moment, willin himself to continue on. “I saw yer sister there, I saw Faith.” He watches as his daughter’s eyes start widenin at what he’s just said. “That must have been very hard for you, da. I can only imagine what you were feeling.” Jamie begins feelin Claire’s hand squeezin his and he’s grateful for it. “Aye, it was verra difficult. She wanted me to carry on a message to ye and yer ma. She said that she loved ye both. She asked if I could begin tellin ye everythin about her because ye’ve been wantin to kent, but ye’ve been a wee bit too afraid to ask yer ma and I.” He can see the tears beginnin to fill her eyes and his heart starts achin. He can see the pain of her wonderin about the sister she never got to kent.</p><p> </p><p>    Her eyes soon begin meetin his again. “I have wanted to ask you that, so many times. I just didn’t want to upset you or mama. Please…tell me about her? What caused mama to miscarry her? What was she like when you saw her? Does she look like me?” He goes on to give her a nod, but starts hesitatin a bit. He still feels guilt over causin Claire to miscarry. It’s the biggest regret of his life. Before he can start talkin, Claire begins answerin for him. “I miscarried in Paris because I was scared that your father would kill Blackjack Randall.” Bree starts noddin her head. “Daddy’s ancestor, the one that…abused da.” Jamie cannae help closin his eyes at her words. He can hear the hurt radiatin in her words. “Yes, I was afraid that if Jamie killed him in the duel, that Frank would cease to exist. I just…couldn’t let that happen. So, when your father had snuck off to meet Blackjack, I had to stop him… He hears Claire’s voice start crackin and his heart does the same. After a beat, he starts feelin Claire’s hand squeeze his once more. The tears continue cascadin down his cheeks, as he turns to meet her eyes. She’s tellin him with her bonny eyes that she has forgivin him, even though he doesnae deserve it. “What did she look like?” Bree asks, tryin to change the subject. He begins tearin his eyes away from his wife and givin his daughter a grateful look. He can see that she dosnae hold any ill will towards him either. “She was a wee bit older than ye and she did look like ye. She had ye and yer mother’s smile. She had yer red hair. She was as bonny as ye and yer mother. Ye could tell she was a Fraser.” Jamie begins feelin tears pouring down his cheeks. He watches his wife and daughter continue cryin silently. All of them grievin together over the missin piece of their family. <em>Over, their Faith.</em></p><p> </p><p>     He dosnae kent how long their sittin there in silence cryin, but Bree’s voice is the one that finally starts breakin the silence. “Is she okay, da, wherever she’s at?” Jamie’s eyes meet his daughter’s, as a new batch of tears start streamin down his cheeks. “Aye, she’s safe and happy. She’s with yer granda, grandma, and Murtagh. She’s missin us but she wanted ye both to kent that she’s always with ye. She said that she wanted ye to kent that she’s still yer big sister, always watchin out for ye, Bree.” He watches his daughter start climbin on the bed, like wee Jemi did that mornin, and begin crumblin in both Claire and his embrace. They both have a hold on her, givin her all their love, just as they do her sister. <em>Their <strong>M’annsachds</strong>, two of their bright rays of light, shinin in their minds and hearts forever. </em></p><p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Please feel free to review, I really appreciate the feedback.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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